17-year-old reconnects with her childhood crush, learns her sister secretly tried to set them up in elementary school, and won't forgive her: 'She’s overreacting considering she found out 9 years later'

Author image for Celeste Mello
Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Jun 28, 2026 5:00 PM EDT

We all have an embarrassing childhood story from elementary school. You can't say you don't have at least one. Most people are lucky enough to leave those memories buried in the past forever, but for this 17-year-old, unfortunately, hers came back 9 years later.

She reconnected with her childhood crush, became friends, and found out a secret from the past: her older sister had tried to set her up with him because she was too shy to talk to him herself back then. Like many playground stories, she approached him during recess and confessed her sister's love, even though it wasn't reciprocated. But they were children. It was an ambitious matchmaking attempt, okay, but it was still sweet. 

The thing is that now the older sister won't apologize because it happened nine years ago. It's old information for her, but for her sister it's fresh news. She just found out. You may think it's childish of the older sister not letting it go, and that's probably right, but it's just as childish of the younger sister not to apologize for something that's bothering her. It's about letting her sister know she cares about her feelings. After all, a short and simple apology won't hurt her much.  

Does she want to be right or to be a good sister? Those are different things. If your sister tells you that you hurt her, you don't get to decide that you didn't. You can judge her, alright. But that doesn't make her feelings less real. So you decide what to do with it. And if you do something bad and get away with it at the moment it happened, does that mean you would never need to apologize if the other person finds out years later?

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  • A teenage girl looking embarrassed after learning about an awkward childhood crush story, represented by a model.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A teenage girl looking embarrassed after learning about an awkward childhood crush story, represented by a model.

  • AITA for not apologising for something I did 9 years ago?

    I'm 19F. When I was 10 and my sister was 8 she had a crush on a boy from her class. She really wanted to ask him to go on a "date" with her (Childhood stuff like a play date) but she was really shy.
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  • One day she couldn't come into school because she was sick and I saw him on the playground and approached him and asked him if he has a crush on anyone in his class. He said yes. I asked if the crush was my sister. He said no his crush was another girl in the class.
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  • I said "oh. If you ask her to be your girlfriend and she says no can you think of my sister she has a crush on you and wants you to go on a date with her to our
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  • house." He said he'll think about it if the girl rejects him. I didn't tell my sister at the time because I knew she'd be upset he didn't have a crush on her back.
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  • Recently my sister is now 17. She's recently joined an amateur dramatics group. The kid from our old primary school is a part of it. They recognised each other and became friends. He's since grown up and realised he's gay. My sister now has a boyfriend
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  • they've grown up now have no feelings for each other whatsoever. But last rehearsal he apparently asked her if she remembers when she asked me to ask him to date her.
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  • An illustrative image of an amateur theater stage representing the rehearsal group where two childhood friends reconnect years later.
    via Unsplash+ (Howard Wang)

    An illustrative image of an amateur theater stage representing the rehearsal group where two childhood friends reconnect years later.

  • She said no and he said what happened and it's so funny looking back. My sister came into my room after her rehearsal and asked me about it. I
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  • remembered it after thinking for a bit and was laughing like it was a funny childhood memory of me trying to be a matchmaker with her now gay bestie. She started shouting at me saying that's so embarrassing.
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  • I told her it's not embarrassing really. She's overthinking. It's childhood crush children that age mostly don't really get the concept of a crush he had a "crush" on a girl now he's gay like people figure out what love really means later than 8.
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  • She's still angry at me though. My parents have talked to me about it saying what I did was an invasion of privacy but like I was 10 years old. I was trying to get her with her crush because I knew she
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  • was too shy to make a move. Would I have done that now I'm older? No. But I just feel like she's overreacting considering she found out 9 years later.
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  • An illustration of a quiet elementary school playground representing a childhood crush and an old school memory.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    An illustration of a quiet elementary school playground representing a childhood crush and an old school memory.

  • If she found out at the time sure I would've probably apologised but it's almost a decade. My parents are saying I'm r de and not empathetic for refusing to apologise. But I feel like this is all really immature and I'm not really sorry for something that happened 9 years ago.
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  • RWAdvice "I'm sorry I tried to help you when I was 10 years old. I'll never do it again." You sister sounds like a drama queen.
    via RWAdvice
  • BeACodeMistake NAH. You were trying to help. You went about it wrong however you were a kid and I think that needs to be taken into account. Your sister is right to feel upset about an invasion of her privacy. It happened nine years ago however she just found out about your betrayal of her trust and she is allowed to process that.
    via BeACodeMistake
  • princessmem Omg your sister and parents need to get a grip! How utterly ridiculous. NTA. You were 10 and trying to help her out, there was no malicious intent and IT WAS 9 YEARS AGO!
    via princessmem
  • beththereader YTA for not taking literally 30 seconds to say sorry when it clearly bothers your sister. Whether you think she's overreacting or not is a moot point. A courtesy apology wouldn't cost you anything.
    via beththereader
  • Virtual-Squirrel-725 What you did is totally ok, kind of sweet actually. She is super sensitive about nothing. BUT - it's always ok to say "hey I'm sorry it's made you feel embarrassed, that wasn't my intention". If she holds a grudge after that, it's all on her and you need not entertain any complaining about it after that.
    via Virtual-Squirrel-725

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friendship teenage drama teenagers embarrassing sister childhood crush
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